You’re here because you want to know how to make female friends as an adult. I get it and I’ve been in your shoes before often.
When I was 24 I relocated from Kentucky to Florida. I didn’t know a single soul. Seriously, no family, no friends, no coworkers or classmates… it was just me and my dog, Bailey.
As we get older, I find that friendships can become more difficult especially when you’re trying to make new friends. However, it’s not impossible and doesn’t have to be difficult.
Women are meant to bond. Women are to meant to lift each other up. Women are meant to be connected. I absolutely cherish female friendships and I truly believe they are needed.
Will there be women who want to tear you down and throw shade? Of course, there’s always going be bad
friends experiences with friendships, but for the most part, female friendships are essential to my life and I have some of the best women eva’ in my tribe. I don’t take that lightly.
My tips to meeting new female friends (as a grown-ass woman)
Most women will be excited if you reach out to them personally. It can be something as simple as “Hey, I saw where you posted you love bacon doughnuts! There’s a new coffee shop near my place and I heard they have the best maple bacon glaze. Would you like to check it out with me?”
Even if she can’t go, she will generally return the favor with a different invite.
… or maybe hanging out seems too much too soon? Why not hit them up and share something personal. My best friend of 21 years became my bestie because she called me in 6th grade to let me know I left my crayon box in her bookbag and just to chat.
We’ve been sister-friends ever since.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, girl.
Be a “yes” girl
When someone invites you to do something, say yes even if it makes you a little nervous! When I moved to Florida, I told myself that I would try one new thing a month.
I went parasailing, I raced on racetracks, I danced on tabletops in clubs (sorry, mom!). I allowed myself to experience new things and guess what? I met new people.
Join groups and organizations you enjoy
One great way to meet like-minded women is to get involved in activities and causes that you care about. This could mean joining a sports team, taking up a new hobby, volunteering for a local organization, or attending meetups or events related to your interests.
Not only will you have the opportunity to meet new friends, but you’ll also be doing something that you’re passionate about.
Attend events around the area. Become a part of organizations such as Urban League Young Professionals (there are chapters in most big cities). Join local Facebook groups. Basically, put yourself in the position to actually meet new people with a shared interests.
Ask yourself what you would want in a female friend and become that. Don’t be judgemental. Don’t be mean. Don’t be closed-off. Actually, be open to meeting new people and be enjoyable to be around (no one likes negative-Nancy or bragging-Betty).
Strike up conversations with women you encounter in your everyday life.
Another easy way to make new friends is simply to strike up conversations with the women you encounter in your everyday life. This could be the woman who sits next to you in yoga class, the mom of your child’s friend, or the colleague you always chat within the break room.
If you find someone you click with, don’t be afraid to exchange contact information and plan to meet up for coffee or lunch sometime.
Connect with women online
In today’s digital age, there are many ways to connect with women online. Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram offer great opportunities to reach out to potential friends, and there are also numerous friendship-focused websites and forums.
If you’re feeling shy or introverted, meeting people online can be a great way to build friendships from the comfort of your own home.
One of the most important friendship tips for women is to simply be yourself. When you’re trying to make new friends, it’s important to be open and honest about who you are and what you’re looking for in a friendship. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t be afraid to let your true personality shine through.
Finally, it’s important to remember that making new friends takes time. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t click with someone right away, or if it takes a while to find the friendship you’re looking for. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are friendships. Just keep putting yourself out there, and eventually, you’ll find the women you click with.
I asked the women from my girl-gang to give their advice when it comes to making friends as an adult…. here’s what they had to say:
Eliminate the beneficial aspects of friendship. Get together because of common interests but not necessarily each other’s ability to reach a goal. Be thorough and encouraging yet set appropriate boundaries.
-My best friend and Ace Boon coon of 21 years… Jessica Gardner.
People often search for commonalities when seeking new friendships. We should Accept people the way they are despite differences. I value the uniqueness within my friendships. None of us are alike which is the beauty of having all of them as friends.
-My sistafriend of 12 years, Trenatee Solomon
Smile… it’s the best first impression and its inviting. Also, every meet up does not have to be out spending money. Chilling at each others house is also spending quality time with each other.
-My girlfrannnn, Shaquonda Baker
Find people you actually have something in common with.
– My girlfrannnn, Brandi O’neal
Just listening goes a long way, sometimes people need your support without the judgement
My girlfrannnn, Heather Fletcher aka heatherfitfoodie
Be honest and let your guard down. It’s hard to make friends when your guard is up and you’re in protection mode
My girlfrannnn, Victoria Roberts
Know yourself and what kind of friends you want to make. It sounds woo woo but I’m a huge believer in the enneagram and personality tests because I know there are some types of people that aren’t healthy for me to be in a relationship. There’s also other ppl that my personality may be toxic for. Female friendships have to be intentional and purposeful in order to thrive. When you know yourself (strengths, flaws, shortcomings, areas of expertise) then you can find friends that compliment you, challenge you, and add value to your life
– My girlfrannnn, Kay Hillman
When it comes to making female friends you have to find places where like-minded women hang out, then show up, be ope and approachable. Then be less interesting and more interested. What I mean is often people show up to impress others instead of getting to know the people in the room. Start a dialogue, ask questions and listen to what’s being shared, not simply so you can respond but to identify similarities and common interests. People or naturally drawn to people like them which fosters organic connections.
– My girlfrannnn, Ebony, Owner of Soulstruck Republic
Be supportive, non judgmental and put yourself in a position to be of service to those you aspire to be like. ? you learn to be supportive of other women and in return you learn so much!
My girlfrannnn, Rosalyn aka poshandpoor
How to maintain female friendships
Communication. Communication. Communication.
I can’t say this enough. If your friend makes you angry or does something that annoys you to the point where you no longer want to be her friend, please let her know especially if you know she has a good heart.
We’re in a society where people praise cutting people off and not letting the other party know why. I don’t believe in ghosting people, especially those who you have a relationship or friendship with.
I think as adults we need to be able to communicate why we no longer want to be someone’s friend or why we are feeling a certain way.
Communicate with your friends and allow them the opportunity to at least address it and/or correct it. If your friend is always 2 hours late to events, tell her.
Let her know that it bothers you to the point where you no longer want to hang out with her. Give her an opportunity to change (because believe me, people actually can change).
We’re so quick to forgive our boyfriends, husbands and significant others time and time again when they do things that annoy us but the minute our friend does something we don’t like, we’re quick to cut them off. Don’t be that person.
I have voiced with my friends that if they are upset with me to please let me know. I won’t be mad and all I ask is that they give me an opportunity to explain myself, change or agree its time to part ways.
I’m not a mind reader. No one is. Communication saves friendships. Communication keeps friendships
What Are Some Tips For Maintaining Friendships With Women?
1. Don’t make everything about you.
Be interested in what’s going on in your friend’s life and be a good listener.
2. Be supportive, not judgmental.
If your friend is going through a tough time, be there for her. Offer a shoulder to cry on and words of encouragement, but avoid being judgmental.
3. Don’t gossip.
Gossiping about other people is a surefire way to ruin a friendship. If you can’t avoid gossiping altogether, at least don’t gossip about your friend behind her back.
4. Be reliable.
If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Don’t cancel plans at the last minute all the time or stand your friends up.
If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
5. Don’t be jealous.
Jealousy is a destructive emotion that can ruin even the strongest of friendships. If you’re feeling jealous of your friend, try to work through those feelings instead of letting them take over.
6. Accept each other’s differences.
You and your friend don’t have to agree on everything, but it’s important to accept each other’s differences.
If there’s something bothering you, talk to your friend about it instead of bottling it up. Likewise, if your friend comes to you with a problem, listen to her and offer advice if she wants it.
8. Give each other space.
Even the best of friends need some time apart every now and then. Respect each other’s need for space and don’t take it personally if your friend wants to spend some time alone.
9. Appreciate each other.
Make sure your friend knows how much you appreciate her and why she’s such a special person to you. A little appreciation goes a long way in maintaining a strong friendship.
Having female friends is so important but do you know what’s even better? Being a friend! Giving to others benefits our emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental well-being.
And, when we give to our friends – be it our time, attention, love, care – we almost instantaneously boost our energy levels. We feel happier and healthier than before and it evokes a greater sense of gratitude for the people in our lives.
Do you have any advice when it comes to how to make female friends? Share below!
In my next post, I’m sharing how to reconnect with an old friend that you stopped talking to
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